There are a few common reasons why girls end up flaking on guys instead of showing up for a planned date
Why Girls Flake on Guys
- They're not interested - One of the most common reasons a girl will flake is that she's just not feeling enough of a connection with you. If she's flaking repeatedly, it's usually a sign that she's not that into you and doesn't have enough motivation to actually meet up. When a girl is really excited about a guy, she'll do almost anything to make a date happen. But if you're not lighting that spark for her, she'll find it easy to make excuses to bail.
- Something legitimately came up - Sometimes things just come up - work emergencies, family obligations, health issues, or other unforeseen events. Don't take it personally or get upset if a girl needs to reschedule once because something legitimate popped up. That's just life. See how she handles the situation - does she offer an apology and seem genuinely disappointed? Does she try to reschedule for the very near future? That's a sign she's still interested.
- She's nervous - First date jitters are real. Some girls, especially younger ones, can get super anxious and timid about meeting someone new from a dating app. It's intimidating meeting a guy IRL for the first time. She may need to take a little more time to get comfortable with the idea of meeting you, even if she's excited. Don't give up after just one flake - give her another chance to work up her courage. Her nerves may get the best of her once or twice before she ultimately decides to meet up.
How to Handle Flaky Girls
Dealing with a girl who repeatedly cancels plans or flakes can be frustrating. However, getting angry or confrontational is rarely effective. Here are some tips for handling flaky girls in a composed, mature manner:
- Don't get upset: Stay calm and don't let your emotions get the best of you. Getting visibly angry, yelling, or guilt-tripping her will likely just push her away further. Take a few deep breaths and try to respond from a place of poise and confidence.
- Call her out nicely: You can directly but tactfully address her flakiness. For example, you could say something like "Hey, I've noticed you've had to cancel or reschedule our plans a couple times now. Is everything okay?" Gauge her reaction and see how she responds. Hopefully this encourages her to communicate openly about what's going on.
- Move on: If she continues to be chronically flaky with no explanation or apology, it may be time to move on. Say something polite like "No problem at all, I understand. Take care!" and focus your energy elsewhere. As difficult as it may be, don't take it personally. Find someone reliable who values your time.
The key is to not let it fester or boil over. Address the flakiness maturely, but know when to walk away from girls who don't respect you or your schedule. Handling the situation calmly retains your confidence and dignity.
Why Tinder Girls Flake
Tinder and other dating apps make it incredibly easy to connect with people online. However, that level of accessibility can also lead to flakiness when it comes to meeting in real life. There are a few key reasons a girl you matched with on Tinder might end up flaking on your plans:
Too many options - With hundreds or even thousands of matches and messages, it's easy for girls on Tinder to get overwhelmed. When juggling that many potential suitors, locking in concrete plans with any one person becomes less of a priority. Even if she seemed interested initially, a girl may flake simply because another guy caught her eye.
Low investment - Connecting on a dating app requires very little effort. A few swipes and a short chat is all it takes to spark a match. So if a girl ends up no longer interested or unavailable for your date, she likely doesn't feel much motivation to follow through. The low level of investment makes it easy for Tinder matches to come and go.
Validation seeking - For some girls, racking up matches and messages feeds their ego even if they have no real intention to date. The constant stream of new guys showing interest feels good and gives them a confidence boost. You may think you hit it off, but she may have just been soaking up the attention and validation. Once it comes time to actually meet up, she bails.
The abundance of choice and minimal effort of app dating makes it prime conditions for flakiness. While it can be frustrating to get canceled on, don't take it personally. Be patient, keep meeting new matches, and you'll eventually connect with someone worth meeting.
How to Build Sexual Tension on a Date
Building sexual tension on a date is an art that takes some skill and practice. Done right, it creates excitement, chemistry, and leaves you both wanting more. Follow these tips to turn up the heat during your next date:
Flirt
Flirting is essential for building sexual tension. Make eye contact, smile, pay her genuine compliments, and tease her playfully. You want to subtly convey your interest and attraction. Touch her lightly on the arm or leg when emphasizing a point. Lean in close when you talk. Hold her gaze a few seconds longer than normal. Playful, suggestive banter gets her mind headed in the right direction.
Whisper in Her Ear
Find an excuse to get close and whisper something to her. When you need to tell her something private, or have a funny comment about something happening nearby, brush her hair back and whisper softly in her ear. Let your lips gently graze her earlobe. The sensation of your breath on her neck will send tingles down her spine. Just don't overdo it or you'll seem creepy.
Lingering Touch
Touch is an essential way to build sexual tension between two people. When you first meet, let your handshake or hug linger a few seconds longer than normal. If you put your hand on the small of her back to guide her somewhere, let it rest there rather than pulling back immediately. Sit close so your knees are touching. Give her a goodbye hug that makes it clear you don't want to let go. Physical touch builds the chemistry between you.
Using these techniques at the right moments ensures you both leave the date filled with excitement and sexual energy. The key is starting slowly and progressing things gradually so the tension has time to build between you. With mutual attraction, your date will be magnetically drawn closer to you as that tension grows.
Take a Class to Meet People
Taking a class is a great way to meet other single people in a natural setting where you immediately have something in common. Classes also give you a chance to interact with the same group of people regularly, allowing friendships and relationships time to develop organically. Here are some great options for classes that tend to attract singles:
Join a Gym Class
Gyms offer so many fun group classes like yoga, spin, martial arts, and more. Sign up for a class that aligns with your interests - it's something you would want to do anyway to stay active and healthy. Arrive to class a little early and chat with people as you set up your mat and weights. Talking to the same gym goers class after class gives you a chance to get to know them. You'll start forming bonds with members who have similar workout motivation and health goals.
Take a Cooking Class
Cooking classes are full of other foodies who want to expand their culinary skills. As you learn new recipes and techniques alongside your classmates, you'll chat about food, flavours, restaurants in the area to try, and more. Bond with those standing next to you as you perfect chopping, sauteing or decorating skills. Singles who love being in the kitchen will enjoy geeking out over shared cooking interests with you.
Sign Up for Dance Lessons
What better way to meet someone than while learning how to dance together? From lively salsa dancing to elegant ballroom, dance lessons get you up close and personal with new people. As you learn and laugh through dance steps with a partner, you get to know each other in a fun, active setting. Dance studios often host mixers and social nights where you can practice your new moves. Bringing a date you met at dance class to one of these parties can be the perfect opportunity to take your connection to the next level outside of class.
Taking a class aligned with your interests is a low-pressure way to meet other singles looking for the same things. When you have shared passions and goals, you instantly have something to bond over as you continue interacting in the class over weeks or months. With a little friendliness and confidence, you'll be chatting up and connecting with new people in no time.
Volunteer to Meet Singles
Volunteering for a cause you care about is one of the most rewarding ways to meet new people. When you volunteer your time and energy towards something that matters, you're sure to meet others who share your passion.
Look for volunteer opportunities that fit your interests and values. An animal shelter, food bank, habitat restoration project, or any community initiative could use your help. You'll work side-by-side with other volunteers and have the chance to strike up conversations during the work. It's a natural ice breaker when you already have a shared mission in common.
The types of people who consistently donate their free time to charitable causes also tend to be compassionate, open-minded folks. They care about making a difference in the world. You're likely to meet singles who have big hearts and the motivation to take action when they see a need in their community.
Even if you don't meet a romantic match while volunteering, you'll still walk away enriched from the experience. Assisting those in need provides a deep sense of fulfillment. And you'll inevitably expand your social circle and meet new friends who you can turn to for camaraderie and support. So be bold and volunteer for that cause you're passionate about. You'll be helping others while creating opportunities to meet kindred spirits.
Strike Up Conversations
Striking up conversations with strangers is an excellent way to meet new people and potential romantic partners. Here are some tips for starting conversations in everyday public places:
At the Coffee Shop
Coffee shops are great places to spark conversations. When you're standing in line, try making a comment to the person next to you like "I can't wait to try the new holiday drink, have you had it yet?" or "That apple pastry looks so good!". You can also comment on something they ordered - "That latte looks delicious, is it your usual?"
If you and another customer are both waiting for drinks, you can make small talk by asking how their day is going so far or commenting on the weather. If you're sitting near someone who seems approachable, ask them what they're reading or working on. Look for clues in their appearance to spark conversation - maybe they have a t-shirt referencing a band or TV show you also like.
At the Park
Parks are wonderful spots for meeting new people while enjoying fresh air. If you're walking your dog, ask passersby if they can pet your pup. Dog lovers will jump at the chance to interact with a furry friend and chat with you.
If you see someone relaxing on a bench or lawn, say hello and make an observational comment like "The flowers are really blooming today, aren't they?" Ask if you can sit, then introduce yourself and make friendly small talk. Joggers and others who are exercising are often wearing headphones, so look for people who seem available to approach.
In Line
Waiting in lines is the perfect time to strike up conversation. If you're in a long grocery store checkout line, you can turn to the person behind you and say, "I always seem to pick the slowest line!" or make a lighthearted comment about the magazine headlines you see while waiting.
Similarly, waiting in ticket lines outside concerts or events is a great opportunity to chat with others who share your interests. Just say "Have you seen this band before?" or make an enthusiastic comment like "I've been looking forward to this for weeks!" Lines are boring without some human connection, so don't hesitate to liven everyone's wait with friendly conversation.
Don't Get Upset at Flakes
When a girl you planned to go on a date with suddenly cancels or doesn't show up, it can be very frustrating. Your first instinct may be to get angry, blow up her phone with texts, or demand an explanation. However, it's important to not overreact or get upset when dealing with flaky girls.
The best approach is to stay calm, composed, and avoid seeming needy. Getting visibly angry or upset will only confirm any suspicions she may have that you're overly invested in her. It will also make you appear insecure and push her further away.
Instead, take a deep breath and recognize that people's plans change sometimes. Try to be understanding and don't take it personally if a girl has to cancel or reschedule a date. Obsessing over why she flaked will only drive you crazy. Don't bombard her with multiple calls or texts asking what happened. This excessive reaction will make you seem clingy and needy, and she'll be even less interested.
The mature response is to say something polite like "No problem, let me know when you're free to get together another time." Then move forward with your life and make other plans if she doesn't follow up. Handling flakes calmly without overreacting is the best way to maintain confidence and your composure when dating.
Politely Call Out Flakiness
If a girl cancels plans with you more than once, it's okay to politely call out her behavior. When she cancels again, send her a text or give her a call noting the canceled plans. You can say something like:
"Hey Julie, I noticed you had to cancel our date on Friday - that's the second time you've had to reschedule. I was really looking forward to getting together, is everything okay with you?"
This gives her a chance to explain any issues she may be having that are leading to all the canceled dates. Listen to what she says and assess sincerely. If she provides a reasonable explanation, be understanding and suggest rescheduling again soon. But if she makes vague excuses or continues to be evasive, take the hint that she may not be interested or reliable.
You don't want to attack or be accusatory. The goal is to politely call out the behavior and see if she has a good reason for it. If not, you can simply move on knowing you gave her a fair chance. No need to get upset - being calm and composed will serve you well.
Move On from Chronically Flaky Girls
If a girl is chronically flaky with you, always cancelling plans or not showing up when expected, it's usually a sign that she's just not that interested in you romantically. While it's frustrating to feel constantly strung along, getting angry or confrontational is unlikely to change her behavior. At a certain point, you have to realize she's just not worth your time or emotional investment.
The best policy is simply to move on gracefully. Send her a text saying something like "No problem at all, I understand things come up. Take care of yourself and all the best." Then stop reaching out and move on. Keep swiping, hanging with friends, and living an awesome life. She'll quickly fade from your mind.
There are plenty of girls out there who will be excited to go on dates with you and won't chronically flake. Don't get hung up pining after someone who doesn't appreciate you or respect your time. Be the bigger person, wish her well, and spend your energy finding someone who is genuinely interested in getting to know you better. You deserve that.
