Communication in the digital dating world is a nuanced art form. Every text you send shapes the impression you make. But here's the kicker—failing to proofread your texts could be turning potential connections into missed opportunities. It's not just about spelling errors; it's about sending the right message with every keystroke.
Introduction
Communication in the digital dating world is a nuanced art form. Every text you send shapes the impression you make. But here's the kicker—failing to proofread your texts could be turning potential connections into missed opportunities. It's not just about spelling errors; it's about sending the right message with every keystroke.
Picture this: you're in the groove, texting someone new, and suddenly, a typo derails the conversation. It happens to the best of us, but consistently missing those proofreading checks can send the wrong signals. From excessive abbreviations to oversharing or responding too quickly, these text mistakes could be sabotaging your chances without you even realizing it.
Let's dive into these common texting pitfalls, why they matter, and how to steer clear of them. Because in today's dating landscape, every text could be the start of something special—or the reason it never takes off.
Not Proofreading Texts
Failing to proofread your texts before hitting send can be a major turn off. According to one studies, 65% of women said bad grammar is a dating dealbreaker. Sloppy spelling and grammatical errors come across as lazy, careless, and can make your messages confusing or difficult for her to understand.
Typos happen to the best of us, but consistently not proofreading your texts shows a lack of effort. Women want someone who cares enough to put in the time to craft a coherent message. Plus, mistakes from auto-correct can drastically change the meaning of what you intend to say.
Bottom line, you miss out on making a good first impression or coming across as someone she'd want to keep talking to if your messages are riddled with errors that could easily be fixed. Avoid letting sloppy writing get in the way of potential connections by simply reviewing texts before sending.
Using Excessive Abbreviations
Text messages containing too many abbreviations like "ttyl", "idk", or "lol" can turn women off by making you seem lazy and low effort. The overuse of abbreviations makes writing harder to understand, stating "acronym overuse threatens the intelligibility and nuance of scientific communication". This applies to texting as well - excessive acronyms obscure your intended meaning, tone and nuance.
Heavy use of text speak also signals immaturity, reminiscent of how many teenagers text. You want to come across as a mature adult, not a lazy texter or confused teen. So limit abbreviations and shorthand to avoid being unintelligible or seeming childish.
Instead, spell words fully and use proper grammar and punctuation. This displays you are making the effort to communicate clearly. She will appreciate you taking the time to craft thoughtful messages she can easily understand.
Sending Too Many Texts
A common mistake guys make is sending too many texts too soon. A survey shows that 95% of men admit that they rarely or never respond to texts from friends for days or weeks at a time . But when it comes to a girl they just started seeing, they mistakenly bombard her with constant check-ins and communication.
Sending lots of texts is a sign of neediness and desperation. It often triggers a feeling of being smothered in the girl, making her want to withdraw. As one dating coach notes, this is especially true in the early days: "If you're noticing you're focusing too much on him, go get a bigger life!" (2).
The key is to give a girl plenty of space between dates so she can focus on her own life. If you text too frequently early on, it fails to allow her room to breathe and pursue her own interests. Save the frequent communication for after establishing a solid connection over the first few dates.
Unsolicited Flirty Texts/Images
One major texting mistake guys make is sending unsolicited flirty texts or explicit images. This can be highly inappropriate without a woman's consent, playing hard to get and selling yourself too aggressively through sexual texts or images damages emotional connection and comes across as "unattractive."
Flirting over text needs to happen organically as you build rapport, not forced out of the blue. As Making sexual comments or sending unsolicited dick pics is inappropriate. You risk making her severely uncomfortable which deteriorates trust and intimacy instead of builds it.
Take things slow and make sure any escalation to flirty or sexual conversation is wanted and reciprocated. As joanncohen.com warns, inappropriate sexual texting "can scare a woman away faster than just about anything." The key is establishing mutual desire first.
Using Texts for Serious Talks
Texting is not an ideal format for having serious relationship conversations. The lack of visual and vocal cues means that nuance gets easily lost, which can lead to misunderstandings on important topics.
Having emotionally-charged conversations, like discussing the status of your relationship, fights, or life decisions, via text is too impersonal and disconnected. These important discussions should happen face-to-face where you can convey and respond to the subtleties of tone and body language.
Save the serious talks for personal communication and use texting just for casual conversations. Avoid using texts to start a big relationship talk or arguing an important point. Meeting in person is far superior for resolving differences or understanding each others' perspectives.
You risk further miscommunications and unresolved hurt feelings if you try to hash out complex emotional issues over text. Do your relationship a favor and have those essential conversations in a live setting instead of a limited written exchange.
Texting While Angry/Upset
Negative emotions can easily transfer over text. When you're angry or upset, the tone and content of your texts will reflect your bad mood. Studies show that over 50% of offensive texts are sent while in a negative emotional state.
Many people end up regretting the texts they send when their emotions get the better of them. Some texts can even border on abusive if they are threatening or harassing. It's best to avoid texting at all until you have calmed down and are in a better headspace.
Take time to relax, go for a walk, listen to music or talk to a friend. Process what is making you feel upset before you respond over text. Not only will this allow you to communicate in a healthier way, you'll also avoid saying something you regret.
Bragging about Yourself
Texting a woman is meant to be an exchange designed to get to know each other. When a guy spends too much time bragging about himself, it comes across as arrogant and self-focused:
- Puts too much focus on you
- Doesn't give her a chance to speak about herself
- Makes her feel like it's an interview rather than a two-way conversation
Rather than trying to impress her by bragging, use your texts as an opportunity to learn about her life, interests, values and goals. Ask open-ended questions and listen more to build an emotional connection.
When you do share information about yourself, do so in the context of answering her questions or finding commonalities in a natural, authentic way rather than forcing it into the conversation.
Bragging often comes from a lack of confidence. Have faith that you are enough as you are without needing to sell yourself. If there is a genuine connection, she will be attracted to the real you.
Overusing Emojis
Using too many emojis in your texts can come across as immature or make it seem like you're not taking the conversation seriously. According to Huffington Post, overusing emojis is one of the biggest dating text turnoffs, especially for women over 30.
Proper emoji etiquette recommends using them sparingly and purposefully:
Emojis come at the end of the sentence if they're conveying an emotion. They can appear in the middle of a sentence as a word replacement or visual aid.
The key is to use emojis selectively to indicate tone, rather than peppering all of your texts with them. An excess of smiley faces, hearts, and kissy emojis can feel childish or like you're trying too hard to be cute. And overusing the winky emoji may come across as flirtatious in an annoying or even creepy way if it's not welcomed.
Keep emojis minimal, purposeful and match the tone of the conversation. She'll find a thoughtful text more appealing than one drowned in emojis.
Responding Too Quickly
Replying to her message a few seconds after she sent it can make you look overeager. Waiting to answer a text or sending one a few hours later makes it look like you have a busy, important life. It fails to make the woman wonder about your life outside her.
We usually recommend waiting 10-20 minutes before responding for the first few interactions. Add extra delays before and after usual work hours to avoid seeming like you’re waiting by your phone. Strategic delays make it appear like you’re confident, busy, and not desperate for her validation. The extra anticipation also builds attraction and interest on her end.
That said, it’s still good to respond within 24 hours, or better yet within a few hours at most during the dating stage. You don’t want to appear completely disinterested either. Find the right balance of having an active life while still being excited to get to know her.
Bad Grammar/Spelling
Using bad grammar or making frequent spelling mistakes in your texts indicates poor education or laziness, both of which are unattractive qualities. Grammatical errors are common in students' English writing and these mistakes negatively impact perceptions of their abilities and intelligence. Sloppy writing filled with typos, punctuation errors, abbreviations and lack of proofreading makes your texts challenging to decipher.
This confusion leads her to question if you lack effort, don't care enough or potentially aren't very bright. Before sending any text, read it back to yourself out loud and use a grammar checking tool to catch errors if needed. While the occasional typo can happen to anyone thumb-typing on their phone, consistent poor spelling gives the impression you lack basic writing skills. And since women rank intelligence as one of the most desirable male traits, it damages your chances when you appear uneducated. Save yourself the embarrassment and take time to proofread.
FAQ
Why is proofreading texts so important?
Proofreading your texts before sending them is critical. According to studies, many women consider bad grammar and spelling errors to be a turn off when dating. Failing to proofread comes across as lazy, careless and makes your messages hard to understand. It also prevents you from making a good first impression and being seen as someone she'd want to keep talking to.
What's wrong with using too many abbreviations?
Using too many text abbreviations like "ttyl", "idk" or "lol" can be off-putting. Research shows overusing abbreviations obscures your meaning and tone, making messages harder to comprehend. It also makes you seem immature, like a confused teenager. Instead, spell out words and use proper grammar to communicate clearly. She will appreciate the effort you put into crafting thoughtful, easy to understand messages.
Why is sending too many texts a bad idea?
Sending too many texts too soon is a sign of neediness and desperation. It often makes women feel smothered, causing them to withdraw. Give a woman plenty of space between dates so she can focus on her own life. If you text too frequently early on, it doesn't allow her room to breathe or pursue her own interests. Save frequent communication for after establishing a solid connection over the first few dates.
What's wrong with sending unsolicited flirty or sexual texts?
Sending unsolicited flirty or sexual texts can make women severely uncomfortable, damaging trust and intimacy. Flirting should happen organically as you build rapport, not be forced. Make sure any escalation to flirty or sexual conversation is wanted and reciprocated. Inappropriate sexual texting can scare a woman away quickly. Establish mutual desire first before taking things in an intimate direction.
Why are texts a bad format for serious relationship talks?
Texting lacks the visual and vocal cues needed for nuanced communication on important relationship topics. Emotionally-charged conversations should happen face-to-face where you can convey and respond to subtle tone and body language. Trying to hash out complex issues over text often leads to misunderstandings and unresolved hurt. Do your relationship a favor and have those essential conversations in person instead of through a limited written exchange.
Why should you avoid texting when angry or upset?
Texting when you're in a negative emotional state means the tone and content of your messages will reflect your anger or upset. Many people regret texts sent when emotions overtake them. Some angry texts can even border on abusive. It's best to avoid texting altogether until you've calmed down and are in a better frame of mind. Take time to relax and process your feelings before responding. This allows you to communicate in a healthier way and avoids saying something you may regret.
Why does bragging about yourself turn women off?
Bragging about yourself in texts comes across as arrogant and self-focused. It puts too much emphasis on you, doesn't give her a chance to speak about herself and makes her feel like it's an interview rather than a balanced conversation. Rather than trying to impress her, use your texts as an opportunity to learn about her life, interests, values and goals. Share information about yourself in response to her questions or finding common ground, not by forcing it into the conversation. Have confidence in yourself without the need to brag.
Why should you use emojis sparingly?
Using too many emojis in your texts can seem immature or like you're not taking the conversation seriously. According to experts, proper emoji etiquette is using them sparingly and purposefully, at the end of a sentence to convey emotion or as a word replacement. An excess of emojis appears childish or like you're trying too hard. And overusing the winky emoji may come across as annoying, creepy or flirtatious if unwelcomed. Keep emojis minimal, matching the tone of discussion. Thoughtful communication is more appealing than texts drowned in emojis.
Why does responding too quickly seem desperate?
Replying to her message seconds after she sends it makes you appear overeager. Waiting 10-20 minutes, or even a few hours, before responding makes you seem confident and not desperate for her validation. Strategic delays also build anticipation and interest on her end. While still replying within 24 hours, find the right balance of having an active life while being excited to get to know her. Responding too quickly fails to make her wonder about your life outside of her.
Why does bad grammar and spelling turn women off?
Using bad grammar or making frequent spelling mistakes indicates poor education or laziness, both unattractive qualities. Sloppy writing filled with errors makes your texts hard to understand, leading her to question your intelligence or effort. Consistent poor spelling gives the impression you lack basic skills. And since women rank intelligence highly, it damages your chances. Save yourself embarrassment by proofreading. While occasional typos happen, poor grammar and spelling are easily fixable with a little time and care.
